top ten lists

The New Face of Heng Heng!

Random

PART 1
(typed to Ms J)

Liru says: (11:30:29 AM)
moma and i want to have a random party for our birthday

Liru says: (11:30:33 AM)
we will invite random ppl

Liru says: (11:30:45 AM)
who can bring random ppl

Liru says: (11:30:52 AM)
and meet other random ppl at the party

Liru says: (11:30:53 AM)
hahahaha


PART 2

Bec says: (11:43:25 AM)
fash bash comin up again wor

Bec says: (11:43:31 AM)
i feel like getting a booth

Liru says: (11:43:54 AM)
what we sell wor

Bec says: (11:44:14 AM)
our stuff that we NEH use wor

Bec says: (11:44:22 AM)
that has been HIDDEN in my wardrobe

Bec says: (11:44:28 AM)
n luggages

Bec says: (11:44:29 AM)
hahahah

Liru says: (11:45:37 AM)
haha but fash bash stores the stuff not v random one leh

Bec says: (11:46:15 AM)
i can name my booth random treasures wor

Bec says: (11:46:19 AM)
HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Bec says: (11:46:23 AM)
no lar

Bec says: (11:46:29 AM)
but i think will b quite ex

Liru says: (11:46:42 AM)
haha to tie in w our random party?

Bec says: (11:46:57 AM)
ya man

Bec says: (11:47:09 AM)
then we give out printed invites to our random party

Bec says: (11:47:22 AM)
we can have a sales booth at a corner of our random party too wor

Bec says: (11:47:24 AM)
ahahahahhahahahaha

Liru says: (11:47:37 AM)
yah wor HO RANDOM WOR!

Bec says: (11:47:49 AM)
ya wor!

Bec says: (11:47:53 AM)
ho good wor!

Bec says: (11:48:12 AM)
our booth in our random party can be called random pieces of us wor

Liru says: (11:48:16 AM)
HAHAHA

Bec says: (11:48:33 AM)
grab some random pieces of us back home as souvenirs wor!

Bec says: (11:48:34 AM)
hahahhahahaha

Liru says: (11:49:07 AM)
hahaha

What Chicks Really Talk About

Liru says:
i cant believe i am hungry again!
Miss J says:
good wor
Liru says:
this is crazy wor
Miss J says:
you have a high metabolic rate wor
Miss J says:
maybe you're subconsciously trying to satisfy your sexual appetite
Miss J says:
are you eating phallic looking items
Liru says:
i wish wor!
Liru says:
well at least today and yest i didnt check his facebook profile
Miss J says:
have F over for supper
Miss J says:
hahahahahahaha

Match Made In Heaven

D! How could they ever stop production on something so perfectly made for your sweet teeth wor! It's like God answered your prayer and made a soft drink especially for you! Imagine how far you'd bounce off the walls if you drank this while eating that melted candy ice cream from MacDonald's! Now that would be a sight that Heng Heng could capitalize on. Imagine the crowds that would pay to watch that!. Furthermore, knowing you, you'd go into a trance at the sight of these two yummies that you'd let us exploit you for free!

Dedication

"The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran is one of my favorite books and while reading it tonight, I came across this excerpt on "Friendship"

So seeing how I'm not a poet like A, I dedicate this to you all, my darling dearest friends who I love with all my heart. I miss you all so very much. *Big Hugs*

"And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

XOXO
Miss J

Audrey

团圆 Heng Heng Reunion

click for a close up

Spotted!
After weeks of speculation and false alarms (last week the 3Ts and Chan L were spotted trying to keep a low profile at Timbre, sparking speculation that not all was well among the Heng Heng stars), the much anticipated heng heng farmaleee reunion took place last night! True to the Heng Heng stars' desire for privacy, the reuion took place at the discrete secret venu, Mimolette. Arriving alone or in pairs, the stars were ushered hurriedly into Mimolette leaving a pack of woeful paps to content with the smell of the night and horse manure. An unidentified woman who appeared with D has been identified as administrative staff snuffing out speculation that she was his mother! It was off to Zouk for drinks and dancing the night away and it wasn't until then that the stars obliged to pictures. See for yourself how good each of them look! Marm's first appearance in the year of the ox after her whirlwind trip across Europe and J's long awaited return delighted the fans but it's anyone's guess when we'll see Baby b for the first time in 2009!

a little bit of scandalous

MoMa is back to share some scandalous bits of her life with XX lao ban!

Last nite, MoMa & XX lao ban had a date to chat online at 11pm... we talked for the longest ever - and i only got to bed at 6am!! well actually i did doze off for 2 hours in between... but still.. hehe...

Here's the highlight of our conversation for you all to enjoy ;)

MoMa (after disappearing for 20mins): sorry, just got out from my shower...

XX lao ban: that's nice.. wish i was there...

MoMa (stunned for a few secs before replying): hmm.. well.. i wish you were here too.... hahaha...

HO terribles right!! the redeeming factor is that we never took it further than that lar.. unlike what ChanL thought, NO we neh do any cyber dirty talk.. for us its just such "not so innocent" kinda flirting...

But this is not all... this afternoon he came online and he msn me...

XX lao ban: did you have a good short sleep? ;)

MoMa: not too bad... and u?

XX lao ban: woke up at 7am.. :( but i had sweet dreams! ;)

MoMa: oh dear.. then u should have just slept in longer...

XX lao ban: with you!

......... ho scandal right... hiyo... terribles ah.. men nowsadays...

I found this on my msn history - the exact conversation between MoMa & her current favouritest lao ban... PART 2 wor... Enjoy!

XX lao ban says:
is that you finally on the picture???
MoMa says:
nah... sorry to disappoint you... this is too professional to be mine lar..
XX lao ban says:
it's small, hard to guess… but you're really keeping me waiting! building up the expectations
MoMa says:
aww... c'mon dont stress me like this... cant have too high an expectation for a beginner you know..
XX lao ban says:
I know, my expectations were on delivery more than quality for a start.... associated with a low level of clothing… quality will improve with time

after a while of silence....

XX lao ban says:
... I left you speechless LOL
MoMa says:
........................... is that one of your ways of testing out the "darker" side of me?
XX lao ban says:
might be… and to fulfill a fantasy too
MoMa says:
that's very flattering to hear indeed.. this skill of yours must have helped fulfill quite a no of fantasies no? see... that's why you're the boss!
XX lao ban says:
some yes.. but always some left.. luckily! are you next?
MoMa says:
now i'm really curious to know what this fantasy is about....
XX lao ban says:
Well, I've known you from sweet little girl to ambitious colleague and witty friend, wondering how's the sexy part of you… I know it's there, but would love to witness the evolution

well, that's all the juicy bits I have for now... till more....

XOXO

MoMa

MoMa's darker side

Harrows to all my bee-you-tee-fool, georgeous & flaabulous correagues!!

Long time since MoMa left a post wor.. have been too busy entertaining one particular lao ban, who has been visiting me ho often wor... No no.. it is not S&F.. this one is long distance one wor.. via MSN ah... ;)

Anyways, i ho excites that this lao ban keeps chatting me up on msn wor, so i decided to memo blog here to updates you all ah...

here's an excerpt of our last msn session:

XX lao ban: shouldnt be hard for you to find a boyfriend no? Are you playing too hard to get (or are you still a virgin LOL)

MoMa: Of course i am still a virgin... Don't i look like one??

XX lao ban:

well, nothing surprises me in singapore anymore, you may be one of the rare few left. And you DO look quite innocent (NOT!)

I am still trying to explore the darker side of you. if you have one...

MoMa: Well... take your best shot at it and pls do keep me posted on your findings! hahaha...

Tsk Tsk.. this lao ban ho terribles wor... but i ho love wor... Hahaha...

CHAN L.

~~~~~~~~~~ Heng Heng E-Announcement ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marm hereby announces that Mary shall now be known as CHAN L from now on. For all future jokes, name-callings, sexual references and reservations, please use the name CHAN L. She will no longer be answering to 'Mary' although it stays as part of her veriiiii looooooong stage name.

SF - So Fun...Wor!

Hhhiiiiii Ehhh-Ver-Ee-Bah-Deees...

Since I am returning to work next Mon, 17 Nov (I just read my bank is going to further cut 600 jobs...hmmmm) and its pouring...and after some leftover Pepperidge farm cookies which stirred up memories of SF, I thought I'd pen something about the trip...

Returning to SF 10 years since I last visited, (Edwin's last visit was 20years ago!) anticipation was naturally in the air. I rememered staying right smack in the middle of town (Union Square) and I vividly recall the compact city with scenic slopes lined with houses, old-school cable cars (or trams as we call them), Fisherman's Wharf, homeless people and the SFPD' wailing sirens in the middle of the night.

Well guess what, nothing's much changed. And that was comforting in a way. But of course with more time (and without parents), we managed to scratch the surface of SF a little more.

Having endured a long flight (much longer than it seemed due to Northwest's lack of service and in-flight entertainment) with a brief stopover in Narita (thank god!), we checked into Hilton San Francisco in the Financial District. To be precise, this hotel was at the end of the Financial District and borders Chinatown (7 blocks from Union Square). Can't complain much since I got it via priceline at a steal.

But as the hotel was very old, the walls were paper thin. So as I laid jet-lagged and wide awake at 3am, some frisky couple in the room above decided to get it on. The creaking went on for the next 30mins...fast, slow, fast, slow....walking, fast, end. Even the creaking woke Edwin up, so you can imagine.

And so with our very first meal of Wanton Mee, we started exploring Chinatown which is one of the largest in the USA. Surrealy, all you hear is Cantonese, and I was afraid Herm would jump out from some dried goods store with"Wai Dim Ah!"
The next 2 days were spent exploring the city. Hampered by the rain, we found ourselves headed back to the mall more often than we desired. But thanks to Edwin's trusty guidebooks, we managed to check out some breakfast gems (Dottie's True Blue in the Tenderloin area and Mama's at North Beach). Both breakfasts came up to more than USD40 but worth every single cent, especially since we skipped lunch. Think heart-busting sausages, home-styled chunky potatoes bacon, eggs and to top it off, pancakes with seasonal berries!




Union Square had the usual suspects - Gap, Diesel, Saks, Barneys etc. But one area worth mentioning was Hayes Valley (lots of interesting shops and restaurants), think a small er Holland V but with a much less commercial feel.

Halloween was an extremely interesting sight . Although we did not participate, it was nice to just watch people dress up (or not wear anything!) and roam the streets.

The sky finally cleared the day we were to drive to Napa Valley. But before that, we made a huge detour to the Gilroy Premium Outlets which caused us rush to Napa. And this was why I was stopped on the highway by the Police (exactly like what you see on TV with sirens and all), apparently I was driving at 25mph above the limit of 65. So, escorted by the police car, I pulled over onto the highway shoulder. Immediately, I found multiple high beams flooding my mirrors and the loudspeaker went "Move your car slowly forward till I say stop."

My next reaction was to get out of the car but was greeted with a stern " STAY IN YOUR CAR". Next thing, the police officer walked over and as if it wasnt bright enough, flashed a torch and signalled for us to wind down the window. After check my driver's license, he asked for my passport. As I had to retrieve it from the boot, he asked " Do you have any weapons?"

Anyway, after he ascertained we were not related to Kim Dong Ill, we soon continued on to Napa. I remembered my dad asking just before I left "why are you going to Napa Valley when you don't drink?!" Well, the answer is food! Napa Valley is home to many well known and some michelin-starred restaurants, I suppose the most famous being Thomas Keller's The French Laundry. At USD270 per pax for the tasting menu, we opted for the more affordable Bouchon (his diffusion line in HH speak). We also had one of the best burgers and milkshakes at Taylor's in Napa.

After 2 days of pigging out in Napa Valley (and for the first time I felt strangely overloaded on fries), we embarked on the long journey (5 hours) to Yosemite Park, which we felt was the highlight of the trip. Home to black bears, mountain lions, squirrels, rattle snakes and chipmunks and the highest waterfall in North America, we were rewarded with one stunning scenery after another. Majestic cliffs, gigantic trees, mirror lakes, words simply cannot describe the natural beauty of this place and despite spending 2 days, we wanted to return for more, maybe in summer.

We made a brief stopover at Sausilito on the way back, a quaint little seaside town facing SF. The vibe here is entirely different. With canopy fronted shops, countless convertibles roaming the streets, multi-million dollar hilltop homes that own the best views of the SF skyline, I imagine it to be similar to Cannes or St Tropez since I've never been to these places. With pistachio almond and blueberry cheesecake ice-cream nicely in tummy, we drove over the Golden Gate bridge in all its sunset glory back towards the City centre.

Goodtimes always seem to pass like an instant and we are now down to our last day in SF. This was spent exploring Golden Gate bridge (walking), Haights-Ashbury neighborhood (excellent place to visit and where we got souvenirs!) and the most touristy thing of the whole trip, the eery night tour of Alcatraz Island, home to one of the most famous former US prisons.

All in, it was a very fulfilling (and filling!) trip and I could not ask for more. The thing with cities like these (just like Tokyo and New York), they are constantly evolving with new neighborhoods, shops, eateries but somethings just stay the same. 10 days might be short but there's always next time. Maybe in another 10 years...

Later,..Tiger!

What do Durian, Valentino and champagne have in common?

ANSWER: They are hooooooo Mary wor.... Champagne - Bubbly, Smooth, Sweet. Valentino - Feminine, Stylish, Hard to get your hands on. Durian - Thorny on the outside. Mushy on the inside. And hoooo Smelly wor....

On a fine Friday afternoon when all of Heng Heng are getting ready for the weekend crowd of laobans, someone with lots of imagination or who has been observing admin A LOT (ans: Techno Long) asked who want her mangoes??? This sparked off a debate of what fruits we are and other irrelevant categories. No logic. 100% based on feeeeeeeeeeel..........

Mary: Durian. Valentino. Champagne. Guess (1 word - S L U T ). Oyster (an aphrodisiac). Green chilli. Van Cleef & Arpels.

Moma: Lychee (exotic). Lady's fingers (acquired taste). Sotong (no explanation needed). Versace (Indonesian tai tai). Cartier. Whiskey (with the lao bans).

Miss J: Mangosteen (queen). Red Chilli (hot & spicy). Chanel (black & white). Georg Jensen (simple, clean lines). Rose syrup (sweet).

Dino: Soursop (white/fair and mushy). Cod fish (white and soft). FCUK. CK (cool & funky in an understated way). Ribenna (sweet & comforting).

Ares: Orange. Fries. Salmon. Lacoste (polo shirts). Bottega. Bvlgari. Sprite.

Techno Long: Ba Chiku. POA. Etro. Wedges. Milo.

Marm: Kumquat (Huat ah!). Potato. GG5. DKNY. Tiffany. Iced lemon tea.

Admin: Golden kiwi (thinks it's better than normal kiwi but it's totally not worth the extra dollars). Thermo flask. Wanko. Coach. Poh Heng. Frog. 八宝茶.

I Don't Tarch Porleetics

Unlike a certain 2D Ah Lian star from a rival station who said during an interview along Orrrchart Road that she "don't tarch porleetics" we obviously don't have a problem with the subject...
which brings me to how in true HH style, the subject never relates to the content...
hence I alas can't help but wonder... is HH out of touch with society ... or do we need to (get in) touch (with) ourselves?

(Camera close-up: male not female writer / looking through window at HDB carpark with rubbish dump to left not autumn leaves on the upper east side / IBM laptop the anti-Mac not a Mac / Giordano tshirt and Kmart pyjama pants not grey cashmere sweater)

Which leads me to think abt HH and touching:

Ares: Topless where possible and loves the touch of the human hand all over...
Techno: Touched by surprise bday party and lovely comments of his youth
Marm: In touch with staff, market swings and won't let other bitches touch her
Miss J: Feel the touch of her spike heels
Moma: Hard to get in touch if you are one of the multiple lao bans
MeeehReee: Touches herself, invites others to Touch Her Body
Deeenooo: Sensitive to the Touch, very fragile

Hermie Fully Rejected - The Musical

A short play by Heng Heng. (Korean/TVB style)

Location: Changi Airport Terminal 1
Characters: Hermie, Ares and Ah Feng

Act 1 of 1. Scene 1 of 2.

After the week-long maid training, Hermie packed her bags to return to TVBland. She was very disappointed. Not only was she turned down by Ares for a lunch rendezvous, she has completely missed Ah Feng. She went to the airport with a heavy heart.

Ares realized that it was Hermie's last day and rushed to the airport. He simply HAD to express his true feelings to her. He looked frantically for anyone with 2 ponytails and a bandanna wearing at least 4 tiers of clothing. But alas! his search was futile. Just when he was about to give up, a row of trolley rammed into him, causing a loud commotion. Hermie who was queuing at the immigration checkpoint turned and saw Ares. She ran to the glass panel.

Hermie: "Ares! What are you doing here?"
Ares: "REMEMBER TO BRING BACK MY SHIRTS OR NEVER COME BACK TO STAND IN FRONT OF ME AGAIN!!"

~ Thunderstorm. Lightning. Erhu playing sad music in the background. ~


Act 1 of 1. Scene 2 of 2.

Hermie was simply too upset to reply. As she walked back, she saw Ah Feng standing in front of her, holding a cup of ice cream.

Feeling hopeful once again, Hermie ran towards Ah Feng, expecting him to embrace her.

Hermie (in slow-mo): "You do remember our Seattle ice cream!"
Ah Feng: "LEI QI SIN wor!!"

~ END~

Playwrights: Miss J, Mary, Moma & Marm with some inputs from Ares ah-ge himself.

the lonely heart of an ah-jie

As the rain pours down
I am writing down life's notes

Flipping through pictures of past scenes

Mind wandering
Heart unsettled
Just waiting

Lady in Red

I was going through some of the old emails and I can't believe I kept this!! This lovely poem is specially dedicated to our very own Ma Li Ah Jie from her forever-fan-cum-Tiger ARES..



Oh my lovely Lady in red
Sitting beguilingly on the bed
Scarlet lips and ebony hair
Lures everyone into your lair


Rufflled dress meets ruffled sheets
This is where bodies meet
Are you happy or are you sad
Might this be caused by yet another heartless cad


Without eyes, emotion we cannot tell
Do you have a story to sell
Try to comprehend we can
We will never understand
The joy you derive
From your alter-ego life

So the question is FEEL or FILL?

Of course, it's ho FEEL worrrr!!!!

Just like this wonderful pose you did on the criff wor! This can be your facebook photo wor... really ho ho feel ah...

Tiger Thong, you have outdone yourself wor! We are all so touch-ed by your beautiful words. You are almost a shoo-in winner for this year's Heng Heng Blight Blight Award wor. Even though, we are all colleagues, not friends, give others a chance wor.. otherwise what else is there for you to win next year???